Quickies: This Is What Depression Does

[This is a new thing i’m trying…  i’m going to call them Quickies, and they’ll basically be short little things that don’t merit full 1,000+ word posts but i still feel a need to get off my chest.]

Today, overall, was a good day.  i had an interview that went very well.  i had Chinese for lunch to celebrate, then i took a two-hour nap and woke up feeling quite well-rested.  i’ve spent the couple hours since then reading and generally relaxing.  Under normal conditions, i would be feeling a warm sense of contentment.  i should be feeling a warm sense of contentment.  i actually very nearly am feeling a warm sense of contentment.

But it’s not quite there.  The nameless, almost-physical ache still hovers within me from the pit of my stomach into my chest.  A feeling of dissatisfaction with… what?  Something i can’t quite put my finger on.  And the nebulous refusal for this gaping need to be tacked down and identified makes me wonder if it will ever be satisfied…

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